Neologisms

By
I don't have anything witty to offer today, so here's another fun bunch of information, complements of my dad.

Neologism Awards Washington Post Invitational (2006)

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
  1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
  8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
  13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
  14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
  15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
  16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
I like to share what I learn, and I like to learn from others.

Comments

Lori said…
Being a classic fan of puns and plays on word, I quite enjoyed that post. Honestly, I think america would be a happier place in general if subtle, witty humor were more appreciated.
January 27, 2008 at 12:42 AM
Jenn said…
Ha, those are great! I wish I had that list as a linguistics major, we love playing with stuff like that.
January 27, 2008 at 5:20 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Walmart Bingo

By
I took my 8-year old on a date tonight and she chose for her activity--wait for it--Walmart Bingo. She found bingo cards online and after our dinner, we commenced the hunt. The items on the card were mostly outrageous and not likely to find (including "bearded woman"), though not outside the realm of possibility; the "someone buying beer and diapers" came pretty close. Here, however, were some delightful finds I did manage to pick up, even if not on the bingo card: Teenage girl in PJ's Dude with "Shh, this is my hangover shirt" t-shirt Dude with one eye Dude with a mohawk and a mouth full of chew Guy buying worms Guy with a full 1-1/2" gauge in his ear, plus more jewelry on his lips.  He looked like livestock Broken bottles on the floor in the drink aisle Mormon missionaries.  Maybe they broke the drinks!  Luckily they were missing the facial jewelry.  Phew. A girl playing (successfully) with 3 hoola hoops at the same time    ^^^M...
Read more

Colorado Flood Update

By
Image
Many friends from outside the area have inquired how we've fared through the recent disaster in Colorado.  Here's an update: Our current place (rental) is fine, though the property we're building on was decimated pretty badly (it's about 2 miles from where we presently live, next to a lake on the St Vrain river).  The river is normally 20-30 feet wide and 1-2 feet deep.  I could have waded across it no problem a week ago.  It was 200-500yds wide when we saw it a few days ago (no typo there).  The shot below is our lake, but it's connected now to the river and the next lake over.  The water continues for hundreds of yards to the right side of the frame.  Utterly amazing. Here's the sign to our neighborhood.  Irony is we just changed the street name from Dougla Drive to Waterside Ln.  How appropriate. This guy tried to go around the road barriers.  Bad idea.  Fire department got their engine stuck trying...
Read more

WFH: Adjusting to the New Reality

By
Image
In the midst of the worldwide pandemic we're each now navigating, we are obviously in uncharted waters in all aspects of our lives. Professionally, nearly every one of us is now working from home (WFH) full time. Though many folks have long WFH'd one day per week or on occasion, it’s a very different thing to become a full-time remote worker. Some of you are adapting to very new ways of working that might at times feel awkward. Here's some tips from those who have been doing the WFH thing for years. Routine. As much as you can, try to maintain a normal routine. That means starting the day on time, getting ready for work as you normally would. You might not be dressing up like you would for the office, but there’s mental value to the whole “getting ready” routine. If you wake up and immediately hit the laptop to start into emails, you don’t get that important ramp-up/ramp-down time in your day. Take breaks as you normally would. It’s not uncommon to find yourself si...
Read more